Having a chapel theme to focus on throughout the year helps campus feel spiritually connected. Even though our designated chapel theme this year is “being salt and light,” there’s been another prominent theme that has stayed consistent for all four years I’ve been at Taylor: male chapel speakers talking about how much they love having sex with their hot wives.
Here are some examples I’ve heard over the years: “We’re trying for a baby, and you know trying is the fun part of marriage.” “Right over there is my smoking hot wife.” “That’s my beautiful, sexy wife. I married up!”
Whenever a speaker says something of this nature, I immediately put my guard up. A few questions come to mind: What else do you like about your wife? How has she helped you grow as a person? Is that really what gives her value in your eyes?
Groups from Wengatz and Sammy cheer every time. Many people respond with awkward laughter. Others, especially women, squirm a little in their seats.
“It definitely encourages, in my opinion, an unequal experience for women in the audience,” senior Katie Pfotzer said.
To Pfotzer, starting a sermon with comments that could be interpreted as objectifying towards women makes it seem like only the men in the crowd will be able to benefit from the following message.
Not only do I think it’s demeaning to women, I think it’s damaging to Christians as a whole. It tells men the goal of marriage is to find a woman that will simply look good on their arms, and it tells women that their identity in Christ doesn’t matter as long as they look nice for their husbands and satisfy his sexual desires. Marriage is so much more than that.
In Proverbs 31, the Bible describes a noble wife and how highly a husband should think of her.
Proverbs 31:28–31 says, “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
While there are passages of the Bible that mention the importance of having sex with your spouse, Proverbs 31 makes it pretty clear that it is the quality of the heart that makes a woman a successful wife, not her looks. It also makes it clear that a husband should praise his wife for the good works she does for the Lord.
If a couple is married, it’s assumed they’ve had sex. It is not assumed, however, that they are well-equipped as spiritual and emotional partners that are bringing each other closer to Christ. I believe it would be very beneficial for a group of young Christians to hear more about that dynamic of marriage.
“It seems dehumanizing to boil down their marriage to that one thing,” senior Tristan Friederich said.
Friederich said he feels there are so many other beautiful aspects of marriage that a chapel speaker could touch on other than their sex lives.
I want to make it known that I believe being attracted to your spouse is a healthy and normal thing, and that sex within marriage is a gift from God. The problem I have is when speakers can’t seem to find any other positive thing to say about their wives and when they make it seem like they are so lucky and even godly to have found a wife that is so hot.
‘Women empowering women’ is a common phrase thrown around right now, but I would love to see men empowering women as well. The best place to start this process would be for men to honor the women around them by speaking respectfully and tastefully about them without objectifying their appearance. The most important woman for a man to honor in this way is his wife.