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The Echo
Taylor University, Upland, IN
Thursday, April 25, 2024
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The Echo

Taylor University Survival Guide

By Alyssa Roat | Echo

Fall break approaches. Two extra days of freedom. What are you going to do with them?

Sure, you can be boring and do homework. Or visit your family. Or - horror of horrors - stay on campus. But everyone knows you're not a true Taylor student unless you do something totally epic for fall break.

Well, fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen. The Taylor University Survival Guide is about to tell you exactly what you need to do to not be totally lame this fall break.

  1. Get off campus.
If you stay on campus, you are not cool. Grab your car. Grab your friend's car. Grab a stranger's car. Hijack someone's alpaca. It doesn't matter, as long as you flee the premises.

  1. Go somewhere exotic.
What, you were just going to go home? Wrong! I want to see your Snapchat story of your epic trip to Peru.

  1. Do something dangerous.
No, I don't mean just procrastinate on your homework. Live on the edge. Wrestle a rattlesnake. Raft down a river. Do it for the 'gram!

  1. Make it even better than spring break.
You've seen the Facebook selfies. You've heard the stories. Haven't you always wished you had a story to tell from spring break like those other college kids? Well, fall break is exactly like spring break, but cooler (literally). Party it up, dude!

  1. Hardcore YOLO.
Do everything. Create the stories. The regrets. The hit on your criminal record.

If you can't seem to find a way to get off campus, I guess you can do lame things like get ahead on homework, relax under a tree or play games with your friends. You could spend time doing something you like or watching your favorite TV show. You could be really uncool and play outside for once instead of staking out the library with your nose in five books.

Loser.

Note: The Echo News and The Taylor University Survival Guide take no responsibility for idiots who don't understand sarcasm. If you steal an alpaca, we are not bailing you out.

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