Today marks 29 days of being back at school.
This first month can be especially difficult because we are still trying to build “routine,” find “consistency,” get into “a groove.” We are all waiting to get to a point where life is predictable and we finally feel like we know what is going on.
Unfortunately, this will never truly be the case.
We may get to a comfortable point in the semester where we are familiar with our classes and have established our walking paths on campus. However, each day will continue to hold some level of unexpectedness: an unanticipated grade gets posted, lines are longer than usual, our go-to study spot is taken.
Part of life is recognizing that change is bound to happen, either in big or small ways. Rather than clinging to our own plans and then being completely thrown off when this change occurs, we can embark on a journey to become more adaptable.
In psychology terms, we are talking about the importance of “psychological flexibility.”
“Psychological flexibility is the ability for a person to maintain contact with the present moment and to respond to whatever comes in that moment in a values-consistent manner,” said Matt Decker, associate professor of psychology. “Meaning, they’re responding in a way that reflects who they want to be as a person.”
We’ve all been thrown off by plans that did not work out or an unexpected change in our lives that led us to react in ways that are not aligned with who we want to be or who God calls us to be.
For students, this presents itself when school stress, changes in our majors or issues in our relationships cause us to spiral instead of trusting that God is in control.
When faced with life’s curveballs, the flexible person asks, “How can I respond to this in a way that still reflects who I want to be?” Their values are able to anchor them and dictate their response.
On the other hand, an inflexible person is “fused with their thinking,” Decker said. Their thoughts and feelings decide their actions. When change occurs, they succumb to the stress they are feeling rather than remain steadfast in what is important to them.
One way to build flexibility is through mindfulness and being aware of each present moment, Decker said. We can’t properly respond to the present if we are constantly focused on the past or future.
“(Being present) allows you to be flexible because you actually know what the current situation is asking you to do,” he said.
Jody Hirschy, Hodson dean of the Cornwall School of Business & Leadership, emphasized the Holy Spirit’s role in helping us adapt to change.
When we are in tune with the Holy Spirit, we recognize His ability to move and work through events that seem like a disruption to our plans.
The truth is, we do not just face the potential for change in our day to day. Our whole lives will bring moments that require us to adapt and pivot. Furthermore, as college students we are in a season of life marked by a unique amount of change — change in place, relationships, career path and more.
It is therefore important for us as young adults and as Christians to start learning how we can adjust to a change of plans, not be crippled by it.
“Knowing that at any point in time they are the Lord’s plans, not ours,” Hirschy said, “and He might call us to something that we didn’t see coming, but He did. And so, when we have that faith and trust in Him, then we can confidently step into a situation which might feel like an interruption or a pivot in the moment, but was actually part of His holy design.”
As we grow in flexibility, this frees us to be more attentive to what God is doing in our lives in the present moment, Decker said.
Therefore, consistency is good. Routine is good. Perfectly outlined Google calendars are good. But these do not protect us from the inevitable shifts that may come our way.
As October approaches and we continue building patterns and consistency this semester, let us focus on being adaptable when that consistency is disrupted.
“I might not get the job I want. I might lose a job. I could lose a relationship. I could get a bad grade on a test. I mean, these things happen,” Decker said, “but I can be at peace with these things because I have this ability to lean into: ‘Okay, wait a minute. Who does God want me to be? Can I be that person right now? Can I — even in the midst of this — can I still be the person God is calling me to be?’ And the answer to that is yes. You absolutely can.”
