The Waterboy
Jeff Yoder | Sports Co-Editor
This is not a column titled after the 1998 comedy with Adam Sandler. It's a place to take a break from the action, step over to the sideline and let me refresh you with a cold cup of sports knowledge. Every other week, I'll give a response to the professional and college sports worlds' latest controversy.
Summer sometimes means hitting the snooze button for sports fans. No Super Bowl, no March Madness, no World Series and no Olympics in 2013 mean SportsCenter will struggle to find content other than baseball and Tebow trades. It won't be long before the weekly top plays are an all-MLB compilation consisting of eight diving grabs that all look the same, one double-play and someone going yard twice in one game.
No offense to baseball, I would just like a little variety in my sports diet. So here's my lineup of the summer's sports schedule and a look at whether or not these nine events will be home run hitters or strikeouts.
Strikeouts
The 139th Kentucky Derby took place last Saturday. The horse named Orb won it all with 5-1 odds. If I was bored enough to drive six hours to watch a 30-second race, I would have put my money on the horses with intimidating names like Charming Kitten or Frac Daddy.
Up to bat next in the summer sports lineup is the French Open, which runs from May 21 to June 9. I'll probably snooze past this one until the final few days when things get interesting, and even then I might consider cleaning my room or mowing the yard a better option. Sorry tennis fans, but I'll cheer you up in a few paragraphs.
Our next batter, the Tour de France, will likely not just strike out, but go down looking. If you live in the western hemisphere and you're not a fan of doping cyclists, then you'll probably agree that team U.S. Postal Service could win, lose or overdose and you wouldn't lose sleep over it.
Base Hits
A potential summer kickstarter event took place last Saturday in the boxing world as April showers brought Mayweather. Floyd Mayweather Jr. dominated Robert Guerrero to improve to 44-0 in 17 years as a pro.
Another must watch is the UEFA Champions League final on May 25. It's a German final featuring Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich. Both the teams beat out Spanish teams, Barcelona and Real Madrid, in the semi finals.
Don't forget MLB All-Star weekend in July. The game itself doesn't really draw my attention, but I might throw some burgers on the grill and feel like a real patriot while I watch the home run derby and have a cookout.
Wimbledon is another base hit that would definitely grab me for a few days. The same goes for the U.S. Open in mid-June. I slated these two together as my seventh batter in the lineup because that's occasionally where the pitcher is slotted; he's important to the team, but fans usually don't expect too much when he takes the plate.
Home Runs
Batting eighth in the summer sports lineup is the Stanley Cup Finals. Get out the brooms because I think the Chicago Blackhawks might sweep everybody on their way to the cup.
Rounding out the order is the NBA Finals and, believe it or not, it might not be a cakewalk for the Miami Heat. The Rose-less Bulls stole a win in Miami on Monday before Miami got serious and blasted Chicago by 37 points on Wednesday. I might bite my words later if the Heat steamroll everybody on their way to another title since they had six players score in double figures.
With a list of "don't bother" and "must watch" events this summer, hopefully whatever you decide to watch brings as much spice to your sports fandom as I've brought you this school year.
